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Decisions in a Bed of Trust, Part III

Submitted by danny@pcorcds-ln.org on Wed, 09/05/2018 - 13:30

Jodyn’s thoughts: 

I like what you say about trust in others starting with trust in yourself.  Indeed, that trustworthiness is (dare I say) a cornerstone for building trust in any relationship, whether it’s with a partner, a care provider, or a system. 

This can be a big challenge when circumstances limit choices (e.g., when the price of medications goes beyond our ability to pay for them). Trusting yourself that you’re doing the best you can gives others the opportunity to believe that about you and help.

You’ve also highlighted what I agree is a key benefit of trust — It facilitates decision making! When we’re among trusted and trustworthy companions, we have less to worry about, knowing they’ll uphold their word, and do the best they can to fulfill our expectations.  We can handoff some of the burden of decision making and reduce the “crazy making.”  Similarly, when we are trustworthy, we give the gift of one less thing to worry about to others.  

Danny’s thoughts:

Jodyn, I wasn’t sure what you meant by cornerstone (Trust has long been recognized as a cornerstonein the relationships that support our health and well-being). You replied: I've taken the cornerstone analogy to mean that if you remove the cornerstone, the structure falls apart.  If the structure falls apart, and the cornerstone remains, you can build again.  I agree with that.

I really like what you said in your presentation about the trust definition (a willingness to be vulnerable to another for a given set of tasks):

Willingness->implies choice/rationale

To be vulnerable->implies risk/confidence

To another->implies relationship

For a given set of tasks->implies contingency (a future event or circumstance that is possible but cannot be predicted with certainty.)

My feeling about health management is that it’s a grand experiment.  We make a choice. Ideally, the choice is likely to be successful in improving health based on research, preferences, and circumstances. We try it. It works (our health goal or medical problem is reached, solved, or bettered) or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t and we try something else. Trust is key.